support adoption by using positive adoption language

I read this article in the advance and wanted to share it with anyone who may not have read it.

Support adoption by using positive adoption language   By: Lori K. Farha

Have you ever heard someone say, "I could never give away my baby?" or maybe "how could anyone give up that beautiful, sweet baby."  It implies somehow that the person making the difficult decision for adoption must be inferior in some way. 


 Sometimes we experience life changing events and are faced with intense and difficult decisions.  A woman facing an unintended pregnancy must consider her options an how to move forward.  She must discern what will be best for her unborn child as well as herself and the father of the baby.  Hopefully she will have his support and commitment and he will walk through the process with her.


When she begins to consider the plan for an adoption she will think of the terms and phrases she has heard all her life... "giving up,"  "keeping,"   "unwanted,"   "put up for,"   "gave away."  None of those are indicative of the very careful considerations and sacrificial decision she will make when she chooses to complete an adoption plan.


Those around her may not realize how words can negatively impact her and even keep her from considering or making the choice of adoption.  Every birth mother I have met has had heart felt love and concern for her baby and every mother has faced the loss and grief for that child when completing an adoption plan.  They complete their choice out of love for that child, and desire to give their baby what they cannot at the time of the birth  -  they give their child the gift of adoption.


As we continue to encourage women to make the choice for life then we must encourage them in whatever their decisions for their child may be.  Using language that supports the choice of adoption is one way we help encourage and strengthen.


So, what are some of the phrases that can be supportive?  Rather than say "she gave up her baby," please begin saying "she made an adoption plan for her child."  Rather than say  "I could never do that," please consider saying,  "it must take tremendous courage and strength to make that choice."  None of us knows what we "could" do when faced with making important life choices for our child.  Many of us believe we would give our lives for our children; many birth parents do this when they make the choice of adoption.  They sacrifice their own desire to hold and parent because they want their child to have all the love they can give them, plus more.


A birth parent doesn't make the decision for adoption because they don't love or can't love their child, they make it because they love them so much, they are willing to sacrifice their own hearts and desires for the benfefit of their child.


There is a strong social stigma when birth parents complete an adoption plan. The choice is difficult and none of us can know what is right for the person making the plan, but helping eliminate negative adoption language can eliminate negative social stigma.  Words can be powerful.  Please support adoption by using positive adoption language. 


That is the end of the article I hope you enjoyed it, and the only thing I can say to close this post is:


I love you Catherine, you are the bravest, most selfless person I've ever met in my entire life.  You changed my life forever and you will be in my thoughts and prayers till the end of my time here on earth.  God Bless You